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Grammar Moses: On volcanology and portmanteaus

My dad is always up for a robust conversation about plate tectonics, concentric urban design theory and the vagaries of communism.

Just ask any of my friends, who probably believed they were being auditioned for a quiz show.

As journalists, we need to learn about all sorts of things before we can write effectively about them, so we often become fascinated by unusual things.

Dad probably would like Thomas Schantz, who struck up a conversation with me about an odd combination that surely would interest all three of us: volcanology and portmanteaus.

"The recent eruption of the Mt. Kilauea volcano in Hawaii has brought to light several portmanteaus," Thomas wrote. "'Laze' is a toxic gas plume created when hot lava enters the cold ocean water. The word is a blend of 'lava' and 'haze.' 'Vog' is air pollution caused by volcanic emissions. According to Wikipedia, the word is a blend of the words 'volcanic,' 'smog,' and 'fog.'"

If you've ever had brunch or stayed at a motel or cleaned up after your labradoodle, you have a pretty standard life. At least you're surrounded by portmanteaus.

A portmanteau is a word created by the combination of sounds and meanings of two other words. So a motel is a motor hotel, brunch is a combo of breakfast and lunch, and a labradoodle is a Labrador retriever/poodle mix.

(The Oxford comma in the preceding sentence was not my idea, but I do think it provides clarity.)

Believe it or not, there is such a thing as an Aussiepom, and it has nothing to do with cheerleading. It's a combination of an Australian shepherd and a Pomeranian. Cute in a weird way.

The other definition for "portmanteau" is a leather steamer trunk that opens into two parts.

I'm headed to Hawaii in a couple of weeks, so I'll be able to converse with the locals on the latest vog and laze issues. But I won't be carrying any portmanteaus. I'm strictly a carry-on traveler.

A thing about 'thing'

Jack Donahue would be an outspoken leader of the no-thing party, if there were such a thing.

"Although your informative column deals with grammatical issues, one personal irritant is the overworked use of the word 'thing,'" he wrote. "The word has no real meaning and is employed both by persons of impressive academic backgrounds as well as people engaged in colloquial conversations. All you have to do is watch one of the cable channels during the day and count the number of times people use this meaningless word."

Jack was so moved by his disdain for "thing" that he wrote a poem:

A Thing By Any Other Name

Thing is a common word

Employed by all the world.

Even without essence,

It remains ever present.

The parlance of stalwarts

And the garble of the herd,

A Thing is ubiquitous

But not a real word.

Yes, a rose is a rose, but

A Thing can be everything

Perhaps nothing, something,

Or anything at all.

Used by the unfocused

In lieu of rich prose,

In times of doublespeak,

We need a true rose.

Write carefully!

• Jim Baumann is vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.

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